Like John Connor

I've been 30 for almost a month now.  And I find myself surprised (pleasantly) at how much I am loving it. It's a huge weight off of my shoulders to just let go of all the craziness and garbage I put myself through in my 20's and start fresh.  The me I'd wished I was at 19.  I thought I knew everything at that age and fuck if I'd listen to anyone who told me otherwise (sorry, Mom! I was an obnoxious ass).  So I thought I would write a letter (more of a list) of sagely advice to my 19 year old self (kind of like Terminator, but without the pressure of world annihilation or animosity towards robots.  I love robots).  Here we go:

Brandy,

It's okay to say "I don't know" if you don't know.

Love yourself, first and foremost because A) You're rad and B) if you don't love yourself how the hell is anyone else supposed to?  You will feel empty and spend time, energy, and money trying to fill a void that can only be filled by the ability to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I love you" and mean it.

Be nice to people.  Treat them with respect and kindness.  Please and Thank You go a long, long way.

Laugh.  Hard and often and from the belly.  And don't give a shit if it annoys or disturbs anyone.  Deep down, they're just wishing they were laughing, too.

Sorry to say it, girl, but you're not going to find happiness in random hook-ups from the bar.  And no matter how progressive or empowered you try to make yourself feel about them, they really just make you feel bad about yourself.  Admit it and move on.  Not only do you deserve more, but you want more, too.

Don't say you'll "never" do something.  The universe loves to make us eat our words.

Bottom line, Bitches are Crazy!  This includes you.  Guys can push women to unspeakable lows.  Never underestimate your ability to cross lines, babble, or just plain scare away the opposite sex.  The sooner you recognize that you, too, can easily travel down "nut-job" lane, the easier it will be for you to not.

Your ability to give whole-heartedly to those you love is an amazing quality, but don't forget it's okay to receive, too.  And don't stand for being taken advantage of.

Listen to your Mom.  She's a smart lady.

Find your own way.  The beautiful thing about living in the modern world is you can make your own rules.  There are a million ways to live.  Don't do it by anyone else's guidelines or conventions.  Do what works for you.  Do what makes you happy and fuck the rest.

Love, love, love,
B-Ran

Shit.  If my 19 year old self reads this it will probably cause a break in the space-time continuum.  Damn.  Maybe I do need a robot and there is always the pressure of world annihilation.  This is all good research for my 40 year old self to pass on.  Thank God I have 10 more years to figure it all out.  In the meantime, I'm Brandy, I'm 30 and I'm trying like hell to play it cool...